I’ve struggled with accepting my personality for years. As so many of you know, I’m not the woman who is known for her gentle spirit and sweet tendencies. I’m the woman known for her sarcasm and willingness to argue a point.
But so many days I’ve wished I was different. Kinder. Gentler. More soft-spoken. Less argumentative.
I remember someone telling me my senior year in high school that it would take a special man to marry me because of my strong-willed nature. They maybe meant it nicer than it sounds, but it certainly didn’t seem like it in the moment… or the years afterwards. If anything, it furthered cemented the thought that had already surfaced in my mind:
Being a strong-willed woman was not something to be proud of.
In college, this self-consciousness about my personality only deepened. I remember cringing every time I heard the word “intimidating” because I knew that was just another reason a guy would have to not date me. My personality and sarcasm didn’t exactly scream “alluring bachelorette,” but try as I did, I could never completely hide my true self. It’s as if the part of me that spoke the truth- even when it didn’t want to be heard - refused to buckle to the pressure of being an “agreeable” single woman. Consequently, as odd as this might sound, I stayed true to myself but not necessarily because I wanted to. More because I tried to change me and just couldn’t.
Now, more than 10 years later, I can finally say that I’m learning to ignore that voice from the past and embrace the way God wired my personality to roar instead of purr.
A huge part of this is watching and learning from other strong-natured women; my primary examples being my mom and sister. I’ve been on the receiving end of my mom’s bold truth-telling personality and have come to be thankful for it. She has helped initiate change in her circles by her unwillingness to waiver on things she believes in. I’ve seen my sister march through periods of dismal news and little resources, yet she stays clinging to Christ more tightly than most can fathom. As I reflect on these two women, I can’t help but believe that if not for their tenacity or their strong-wills, they wouldn’t have overcome the trials they have. God gave them the tools they needed, one of which being their personality, to serve His purpose on the earth.
… So, many years later in my quest for acceptance, I’m realizing there is both a reason and a need for the “intimidating” women as well as the women who are naturally welcoming. God equips us with the personality we need to work through the trials we face. Our temperament is one of the ways He takes care of us.
If I believe that God created me in my mother’s womb and found it delightful to pick out my eye color, hair color, and body type, then I must also believe that he joyfully wired my personality to be as He wanted as well. (Psalm 139).
Stop trying to be loud if you’re quiet; mild if you’re strong; timid if you’re fearless; extraverted if you’re an introvert.
Be the woman God equipped you to be.
There’s a reason for your personality. Fulfill it.
About Holly's Blog
Holly loves to write, and you'll find her blog covers all different topics!